Member ~ Mystery Writers of America and International Thriller Writers, Inc.
Dustin Stevens
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Bad Movie Hall of Fame Entry ~ Out Cold

1/18/2013

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This week, I find myself in a bit of a quandry. On one hand, we've got major issues such as the passage of twenty-some new gun control laws in America, the Lance Armstrong and Manti Te'o sagas unfolding, the beginning of an ugly and contentious legislative session here in Hawaii. While these are all large and worthy endeavors that I am considering commenting on, I have consciously decided to exit stage right on doing so.

The reason? I once read a James Patterson comment about how Hollywood has never figured out that most people's lives are hard/depressing enough, they don't need movies helping that along. I feel the same about blogs. If you want serious, thought-provoking stuff, there are literally thousands of places to find it right now. Instead, Ima do what I do best. Be a smartass and offer (hopefully) humorous escapism.

On the docket this week? I'll be starting a semi-regular posting whereas I talk about my entries into the Enjoyably Bad Movie Hall of Fame. Much like your favorite neighborhood haunt, or even the girl you might occasionally take home from there, these aren't films you would ever talk about in social circles, but there's always there for you and always pick you up when you're feeling.

Right at the top of that list for me? Out Cold.

In a nutshell, Out Cold is a screwball comedy about a bunch of slacker friends working a ski resort in Alaska. They are 20-somethings living the dream until a developer comes to town and tries to turn it into the next Vail. Hijinx and hilarity ensue.

So...what makes this so entertaining?

FIrst of all, the casting is fantastic. It features a pre-fame Zach Galifinakis at his comedic best, Lee Majors is a greasy Texas developer w/ multiple wives/daughters from multiple European nations, Thomas Lennon shortly before Reno 911, outstanding supporting work from Flex Alexander, David Denman, and Derek Hamilton, David Koechner in arguably his greatest role ever (yes, even better than Champ on Anchorman) and perhaps most importantly, it launched the ineffable AJ Cook into our collective pyschee. A collective coup if there ever was one.

Second, the story combines slapstick, physical, sophomoric, vulgar, and witty humor together beautifully. Everybody has their role and they fill it perfectly. They characters are real enough to identify with, zany enough to be entertaining. A definite win.

Basically, I defy anyone to watch this flick and not laugh out loud at least three times, chuckle along atleast another half dozen. It might be low-brow and such, but it is pure escapist fun at its best. Given everything thats going on in the real world, isn't that what we're really after?

(If you need a copy, I'm happy to lend one of mine. Yes, I have multiple)

And to take us home, one of my favorite lines from the movie, discussing the impending development of their idyllic town from a high, and possibly hallucinogenic, Stumpy that might also actually serve as good advice for us all moving forward...

"I was there. Yeah, it was called the '80s. Ford was President, Nixon was in the  White House and FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bummin' in a  hole-in-a-wall town in what is now called Utah. Some fella from Colorado shows
up, starts making so called "improvements", right? Before we knew what hit us, the streets are running with late'. It got so bad that a fella that liked to, you know... smoke a little grass or drink a little ripple. Crow like a rooster, maybe challenge the mayor's son to a gentlemen's duel, was "uncouth, against
God." More like bad real estate values. So we had to go!


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